Complaints? The desk is always open. File Your Complaint →
Volume XX · Summer 2026 · The Summer Escape Edition
Doug Ford's Island Getaway

An Ontario reserved for
our most valued guests.

$200 million of your money for a private spa's parking garage. The texts that explain why, deleted by law. Billy Bishop expanding for private jets. You're not on the guest list — you're the one footing the bill.

$200MSpa Lot · Funded by You
$36.4BWall Street Fund · Owns the Terminal
413Ways to Bypass Nature
Don't like it? Complain to management See if it helps We dare you
— A Note from Management. —

Now Serving: J.P. Morgan

The guest we built this resort for

Who actually profits when Billy Bishop expands? It isn't Ontario — it's J.P. Morgan, the Wall Street bank.

Billy Bishop already has an owner — and it isn't Ontario. The terminal is held by Nieuport Aviation, on the advice of J.P. Morgan, the largest bank in the United States. Your government has spent years clearing the way: expropriating the park, removing the City from the table, and calling the expansion “self-funded” while a Wall Street fund positions itself to collect the returns.

The public pays. The waterfront goes. And the profits flow to New York. We’ve arranged it beautifully. The guest is J.P. Morgan. The host, as ever, is you.

Tell the Premier This is Enough →
No. 02 ✦

The Summer Escape

Seven ways the Ford government is reshaping Ontario's waterfront, parks, and public purse to work for you, the filthy rich—our most valued client. If you don't see your preferred amenity, ask your concierge—we can probably move it, close it, or pave it in for you.

— JET-SET

The Ford Flyover

The Ford Flyover

Why should a local park slow down your weekend? Little Norway Park is ours — tarmac to follow. The expansion runs $4–5B against an airport that cleared $16.9M last year, but we're assured it's “self-funded.” They lost a playground; you gained a faster descent to the luxury VIP lounge.

Expropriated Lodge a Complaint →
— GHOST-FOI

The “Off the Record” Suite

The “Off the Record” Suite

Deals this big require total privacy. Under Bill 97 the Premier's office is now exempt from freedom-of-information law — the daily calendar sealed, texts and call logs out of reach, even the ones a court ordered released. No trail, no journalists.

Status: Redacted Demand the Receipts →
— SPA-FIX

The VIP Waterfront

The VIP Waterfront

We handed the waterfront to a private spa, then billed the public $200M for its parking garage. The spa is members-only; the garage is yours. Bring an inflatable pool, lay it across two spaces, and enjoy the view you paid for — from the lot you're allowed into.

Status: Sold If You Must Object →
— SEZ-5

The Special Economic Zone

The Special Economic Zone

Why follow the rules when you can opt out of them? Under Bill 5, carve your own jurisdiction out of Ontario — no assessments, no consultations, no bylaws. Sovereignty, on demand.

— BUS-BYPASS

The Highway 413 Road Trip

The Highway 413 Road Trip

Why share a province with farmland when you could share it with asphalt? Highway 413 carves an express shortcut through the Greenbelt to shave thirty seconds off the cottage commute. The wetlands are sad but quiet about it — and quiet is what you're paying for.

Paved Over Demand a Detour →
— CASH-PILE

A Place to Grow (Your Cash)

A Place to Grow (Your Cash)

Ontario's motto is “A Place to Grow.” We grow exactly one thing for you: the pile. Tax holidays, sole-source contracts, regulatory loopholes — all on standing offer. If you have to ask, you're not on the list.

Invitation Only Sour Grapes? Click Here →
— RENT-HIKE

The High-Rent Filter

The High-Rent Filter

High rent isn't a crisis — it's a security feature. It keeps the “rabble” out. We'll keep blocking rent controls and waving through luxury condos so your properties stay scarce, exclusive, and yours.

Profitable · By Design Take it Up With Management →
— That's the joke. Here's the punchline. —

This is a parody. The damage is real.

Send a Real Letter to Doug Ford → · this part is not a joke ·

Or chip in to fund the fight →

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